another moral hangover. fuck.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
