Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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