Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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