Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
