I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
