The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
