I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
