the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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