I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
