It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
