I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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