hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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