Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
