every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
