that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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