she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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