Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
