Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
