you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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