I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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