and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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