I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize