I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
