when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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