i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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