They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You were trust falling into bushes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
