At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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