my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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