i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize