The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
