I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
