Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
