C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
