She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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