I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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