hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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