just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
