Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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