Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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