Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh god it's open bar.
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