Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
