either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
