Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
