She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
