she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
