After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
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I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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