he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
