And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
