I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My vagina is very pro this idea
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
