so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
