I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the day after is always just damage control
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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