Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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