Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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