Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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