imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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