So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize