i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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