i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
