he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize