My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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