As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
