i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize