I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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