Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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