its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
